How To Ditch Low-Self-Esteem And Become A Confident Man

How To Gain The Confidence To Be Self-Assured And Take Command Of Your Life

Confidence isn’t what you look like, how much money you have or your relationship status. Building true confidence is an internal process of owning your power and living from a place of self-worth.


Confidence is one central characteristic that defines the well put-together man. It’s a well-known fact that confident men walk taller and command a more significant presence; it’s merely their natural state of being. These are the men that rule the world. The fact is, it’s nearly impossible to reach any of your goals if you don’t feel confident in your ability to succeed. Knowing who you are, taking definitive action towards a plan, and overcoming your fears are just a few ways to embrace your self worth like a confident man.

No man is ever 100% confident all of the time, and it’s normal to deal with individual insecurities. It may be little things throughout the day or something that takes up a great deal of your mental energy. It’s easy to compare yourself to other men and then feel like you haven’t been living to your fullest potential. Be careful with this mindset–many men may appear to be confident on the outside, but in their minds, they’re struggling just like someone else.

Confidence is relative to so many aspects of your life. You could be completely secure in your financial state while also feeling terrible about your body. What you think is what you become; this is why it’s imperative to work to be the best version of yourself.

Whether you’re attempting to reach the peak of a mountain or the top of the corporate ladder, building confidence in yourself is a practice you must continue throughout your entire life.  Setting goals for yourself and working to achieve your dreams are just two things you can start right away.  The art of self-confidence is something that can’t be bought or faked–it has to develop from who you truly are and who you desire to be. Want to be one of the confident guys? Take a look at this post and learn about building confidence and becoming a better man every day.



Heal Low Self Esteem


What Are the Causes of Low Self Esteem?

Low self-esteem will quickly destroy a man from the inside out. If you’ve ever felt abandoned in your life or you wake up feeling as if there’s no point or purpose, your self-esteem may be a critical factor in the way you think. Depression is one of the most common reasons why men start to get down on themselves. If you’ve been abused, neglected, or experienced some sort of trauma in your childhood, this can carry over into your adult life and lead to negative consequences.

Did your parents make you feel as if you were worthless and unimportant? This is one of the key reasons why men experience the struggle of low self-esteem. Overcoming childhood trauma is the first step in rising above your fear to know your self-worth. You are your own person as an adult, and you get to say who you really are.

Dealing with a bully–whether at work or school–can lead you to feel as if something is wrong with you. Even when you’ve got the best intentions to defend yourself, the torment from a bully can make your life a nightmare. Overcoming the mind games that bullies play can definitely present a challenge. If you can rebuild your confidence and stand up to the person giving you a hard time, you’ll get your life back.

If you’ve set goal after goal but have failed to achieve the results you wanted, this can put you in a dark state as well. You know the feeling: the dreams in your mind look like reality, but nothing good ever developed from them! It’s a tale that’s old as time, and it happens to the greatest of men. Don’t be afraid–no matter how many times you fail, you’ve got to get back up and try again. Remember: confidence is built through overcoming great struggle.



Become A Confident Man


Confidence Vs. Arrogance

At some point in time, everyone has met the type of guy who’s taking up the whole conversation and bragging about his latest feat. You’ve seen it before–it’s the type of man who always has to be right or puts other people down. These traits are never becoming and can lead others not wanting to be around. Men of this type always end up exposing their true identity at some point in their life. Confident men develop and grow as time goes on.

The arrogant man is like a sheet of glass–you can see right through him. While they want to appear confident, they display their insecurities for the whole world to see. Ask any person, and they’ll tell you that men with cocky, brash attitudes are a pain to be around. Would you want to put effort into spending time with a man who felt the need to always be above you? No! Confident men are secure in their abilities and never feel the need to hurt others or put them down.

Arrogant men attempt to make themselves look better than anyone else in the room. They give back-handed compliments and interrupt others when they’re speaking. This is not the way of the confident man. Confident men know that someone who must appear big is most likely actually tiny on the inside.



Get Higher Self Esteem


The Confident Man’s Attitude

Confidence is knowing that you don’t need someone’s approval to be happy with yourself. The action of what he does speaks far louder than his words. One way to learn how to be more confident is to mimic the attitude of great men. Whether it’s your father, a world leader, or one of the classic film heroes–you can draw from their help to keep your self-confidence alive. In a difficult situation? Think about what they would do and apply those same techniques to your situation. Confidence isn’t reserved for a select few men–anyone can become who they truly seek to be.

Even the toughest of men waiver on their confidence every now and then. But, when others may fall, he continues to stand with the self-confidence to rise above any challenge. No matter what others may say–no matter what his inner voice says–he continues onward as a champion would.

The confident man is always available to help, without any judgment or annoyance. He is never angered easily and always thinks before reacting. He doesn’t say every thought that crosses his mind–confidence speaks volumes, even without saying a single word.



Increase Your Self Confidence


The Confident Man’s Look (dressing, grooming, standing tall, the way you walk)

Confident men draw attention from everyone when they step into a room. People can quickly notice who’s a confident man and who’s just putting on an act. If you need to become more confident in carrying yourself, start with what’s in your closet. Do your clothes fit properly? Have you updated your style to match your age and the current trends? No woman will ever see herself with a guy wearing his clothes from 1999–follow the trends and update your closet. Also, wear clothes appropriate for the situation and don’t overdress on a day to day basis. This can appear, and people may start to think that you’re a bit strange.

In regards to grooming, this is a no brainer. For people to like you and for you to like yourself, you must be presentable, well-groomed, and smelling fresh. Self-confidence comes naturally when you’re looking and feeling good. People remember you for more than your personality. They notice how you stand, the words you use, and how well you can look them in the eye.

Stand up tall when you greet people and reach out quickly to shake their hands. This is one of the most significant signifiers of real confidence, and both men and women will respect you for it. Attempt to become someone’s friend quickly; this shows that the interaction isn’t self-centered.

Building up your confidence isn’t impossible; it just takes some practice, self-determination, and a will to be your best.



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Increase Confidence With Women


How To Be More Confident With Women

This is the holy grail when it comes to being a well rounded and confident man. Women have an inherent sense of who’s genuinely secure in themselves and who’s just putting on an act. Think about what a woman wants in a man–strength, prosperity, and the ability to take control. Before you can do any of those things, you really need to build your confidence levels and find out who you truly are.

When you’re talking to a woman, let yourself just roll with the conversation. Listen closely to what she says and don’t try to put on any fake personas. Be sure you give her enough time to think about what you’re saying–a relaxed, smooth attitude will show her that you’re a chill, confident man. Start the conversation by keeping it a bit mysterious. Ask her about her hobbies, her family, or her pets. This gives you the ability to get to know her on a person to person level without coming across as needy. Don’t ask her about other men, as this can make you appear desperate and insecure. Instead, just assume that she’s into you, and give her a confident smile.

If a woman wants to hang out with you, she’ll find the time for it. Don’t pressure her too much–all this does is make you appear lonely, and she could become distant. Avoid buying her things until you’re sure that she wants to get to know you. Stay away from trying to help her too much; she’ll ask if she needs it–giving you a direct path to start having her in your life.

Something to keep in mind: don’t like every single post on her Instagram. Keep a bit of distance and find other ways to spark her attention. Confident men are good at taking their time with women, and they always keep their cool. A confident man knows that the action is just around the corner for him, so there’s no need to fear any rejection. If you’re an interesting, funny, and confident man, she’ll want you in her life.

If you end up getting to know each other and start a new relationship together, take time to think about something you could do better every day. Women need confident men to lead the way, and you’ve got to keep developing who you are. Don’t just focus on her needs. Let your woman be her true self, don’t try to limit the people she can see or the places she can go. Of course, you’ve got to be sure she isn’t cheating on you, but don’t ever appear insecure about her getting some on the side. This can make you seem small and desperate–two things no confident man should ever be. Would you want to be questioned about cheating? Just like with women, it can make you doubt putting too much effort into the relationship.



Men Increase Confidence


How To Pump Yourself Up

When you wake up in the morning, the first thought that crosses your mind generally sets the tone for your day. How do you speak to your inner self when you first wake up? Are you happy, or do you feel like you could use some help feeling good? Many of the world’s most confident men can attribute their success to building themselves up through self-affirmation. After all, you become what you believe–if you can pump yourself up, overcome your fear, you’ll shine as your better self and become who you’re truly meant to be!

Whether it’s getting a new haircut or throwing a bit of humble-bragging in your Instagram post, embrace your confidence, and live like a king. It takes a dedicated body and mind to build yourself into one of the greats. You’ve got to learn as you go and never lose sight of who you want to become. Take pride in your scars and never let the words people say break you down. You have the power to know the truth and your confidence–you’re the man who’s in charge of your domain, and absolutely nothing will stand in your way.


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Jack Davis

My name is Jack, I'm the founder of Uncivilized Man. I started this blog for men because I wanted to use my expertise as a therapist to help other men find better physical and mental health. As men, so many of us see ourselves as a lone wolf. But this is not good, and not needed. Follow UCM to learn more about how to find better fitness, better health, better relationships, and a better lifestyle.

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