How To Tell If Your Wife Is Cheating On You

The Top Signs That Your Wife Or Girlfriend Is Being Unfaithful

Every man knows the feeling–the one where you know deep down something is terribly wrong in a relationship. Maybe she starts growing colder, or perhaps she’s staying out later. Either way, it’s a cause for concern.

 

Finding out that your wife is unfaithful can break the confidence of any well put together man. Even though it’s a tough pill to swallow, finding out the truth brings a new element of surprise to the relationship with your spouse.

Infidelity is all too common these days, and men worldwide deal with the hurt and shock of cheating on a daily basis. While not all women are guaranteed to cheat, they’re human beings driven by desire–just like men. Being unfaithful isn’t only limited to a physical connection; women can quickly draw away and form an emotional relationship.

A successful marriage is no easy feat, and it takes work from both sides. If one side starts to give up, the other can readily seek validation outside of their bedroom. You could be the absolute perfect man in every regard, and your wife could still cheat on you. It’s not something that you have a great deal of control over.

At some point in any man’s life, he’ll most likely deal with having his woman start to see someone else. When it’s done with honesty, it’s a wound that quickly heals. But when your wife is cheating behind your back, it’s a whole different level of betrayal. If you’ve found yourself having less sex or suddenly start to lose a connection, these are a few factors that show the signs.

 

She Has Grown Distant From You And The Family.

Have you found that your wife tends to be on “business trips” or “with her family” during holidays and vacations? If so, she may be hiding something. There’s even more room to be suspicious if she’s acting distant to you or your children in her everyday life. A close and caring wife wants to be the cornerstone for her family’s happiness, not distant and far away from making memories. When you enter into a marriage, you’re not just forming a bond with your spouse–you’re creating a relationship with your significant other’s family as well. If she’s not joining you on family outings, this could be a sign that she doesn’t value the relationship or the marriage.

 

She Seems Guilty And Nervous.

If you’ve been married for any length of time, then you’ll most likely have seen every side of your wife’s personality. You know the signs when she’s generally happy, and you can always tell if something is bothering her. If you’ve seen her act differently than her usual self–especially if she seems jumpy or defensive when you speak to her–this is one of the most definitive signs of cheating. It might be time to start asking questions, even more so if you both share the same circle of friends.

 

She Gets Dressed Up and Goes Out More Without You.

There’s nothing more concerning than seeing your wife get dressed up and leave the house without you for a night on the town. Let’s face it–it takes quite a lot of work for a woman to do her hair and makeup. If she’s getting dressed up for the club and you’re not going out with her, you can be pretty confident that another man is. If she’s been buying new things, specifically with the intent of going out for drinks and showing off with her friends, then she may be cheating on you. Maybe she says that she’s out “with her friends” but comes home in the middle of the night. It could be that your spouse is hiding something behind your back. Check your credit card statements for high-end clothing and lingerie purchases. If you find anything of the sort, this is a sure sign she’s cheating on you.

 

She’s Paying More Attention To Her Phone and Being More Secretive About It.

This is a huge red flag, and almost every single instance ends with the truth coming out–she was cheating. If you’ve noticed late night text messages or a new email address popping up on the screen, then these warning signs are sure signs of an affair. Ever seen her suddenly get up and go to the bathroom after hearing her phone beep? Or suddenly she starts locking her phone right away? She’s got something she doesn’t want to tell you. Social media makes it even worse. She may not be physically cheating on you, but she could also have a guy that might be providing her with an emotional connection on the side.

 

She Gets Mad When You Ask Questions.

Great relationships are built on strong communication, and most wives are happy to answer any questions that come up in conversation. Inquiring about what goes on in your wife’s daily life is healthy and keeps each partner in good graces. If you’re asking harmless questions, but your wife starts to get angry, she’s putting up a defense that she may have some information that your wife might not want you to know. If your spouse says that it’s none of your business or she suddenly starts screaming at a simple question, you’re with dealing with a problem partner.

Cheating is built around lies; it takes a good memory to keep the lies straight, and asking questions could reveal that your wife has found a new partner to spend time with. Honesty is one of the most valuable things that you could give your spouse, and if she says anything different, it’s a clear sign of infidelity.

 

She’s Either Stopped Wanting To Be intimate, Or She Wants To Be More Experimental In Bed.

The feeling of rejection is one of the most devastating states a man can be in. Men of every age need to keep their sex lives going, and when it stops suddenly, this could be a clear sign of a cheating wife. You may think that she would never hold out on sex with you, but if she’s sleeping with another man, she may be less likely to do anything with you. Ask her why she’s distant. If she says that she’s “tired” or “has a headache,” you may be dealing with an unfaithful spouse.

On the other hand, if things start to get wilder with your wife in the bedroom, then you also might want to look into it a bit further. Things like new positions, different locations, or crazy suggestions may be a sign that she’s enjoying the thrill of being a cheater. While this isn’t a definitive sign of cheating, it’s essential to get to know one another on a sexual level to really understand where she is at. Women need exciting sex lives too, and they can’t live without it. If she says she wants more, definitely give it to her. Just be careful and keep a close eye on your partner.

 

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What To Do If You Think She’s Cheating and you want to fix it.

Go To A Couples Therapist.

If you’ve been anxious at the thought of your wife cheating, or you’ve already caught her in the act, then you should find a couples therapist as quickly as you can. Any decent therapist has seen it all, and they can help make both husbands and wives feel better once the truth and the root cause are laid on the table. It may be a simple miscommunication issue with your spouse, or it may be signs of something deeper. Either way, each partner needs to listen to one another and focus on avoiding any chance of an affair.

If you have the private thought that your wife is likely to cheat, be sure to catch the problem early and find a therapist for both of you. A loving partner will most likely understand the present issues and be willing to put in the effort and repair the relationship. There’s nothing wrong with going to therapy with your spouse. Your marriage and relationship could depend on it.

 

Find The Root Of Why The Cheating Happened.

Once you’ve heard the truth and get over the initial shock, it’s time to find out why your partner cheated.   If there are issues in the relationship that you need to know about, she’ll let you know at this point. Maybe she was feeling unwanted or ignored. Certain things that make sense for men are entirely different for women. Sometimes women feel as if they need a new sexual experience to make them feel complete. Other times they might like the adventure surrounding the sex outside of their marriage. If a woman starts to feel like you don’t value her or is not interested in you pleasing her, she’ll jump ship quickly. Knowing this going into a relationship can sometimes prevent her from cheating, but it’s no guarantee.

Keep in mind that while cheating is never excusable, many couples have pushed through the tough times and gone on to be stronger. New memories can be formed to cover up the hurt. If your spouse says that it could work again, it’s up to you to decide to stay married. Now, things will never be truly the same for both of you. The memories and the hurt will always stay around, even if they’re in the rearview mirror. Like most things in a marriage, if you truly love your wife and can forgive her, any issues can be resolved.

 

 

What to do if you think she’s cheating and you want to end it.

Hire A P.I.

Hiring a private investigator is one way to get the evidence you need to know if she’s cheating. A quality P.I. can find even the messiest details of any relationship. They’ve got access to things like phone records, social media accounts, and second bank statements. Also, with GPS tracking, they can get an idea of where she’s going throughout the day. If she’s meeting up with someone else for an affair, they’ll be the first to let you know about it.

These professionals know all the signs of cheating, and they’re well aware of how sneaky a woman can be. They stay out of the way, silently observing and collecting evidence. Depending on where you live, the P.I. may or may not have the ability to work without restrictions–like security professionals, they have specific guidelines to follow. Make sure to do your research and choose the most respected P.I., preferably one with previous law enforcement or military experience. If your spouse is showing signs of being unfaithful, they’ll find out the details for you.

 

Start Making Preparations for Ending It.

If she’s been unremorseful, disrespectful, or just plain rude, you should get a quick divorce. It’s no secret that divorce proceedings are a mess, and if you’ve got hard evidence on your side, then you’ll find the whole process much easier to handle. In many states, you’ll need proof that she was the cause for the divorce if you want to keep a close hand on the assets and financial security in your life. Filing for divorce and ending your marriage is no easy decision to make. You may want to research lawyers all across your state to find the best one suited to your situation. Depending on how many children you have, the process could be better or worse. A few hours of homework could save you significant time down the road.

If you’ve tried to mend the damage over time and found your wife continuously hurting you, then make the call and end it for good this time. Don’t take it too personally or spend a ton of time crying about it. Moving on might be the hardest decision you’ll ever have to make, but if you’ve got a spouse who doesn’t value your relationship or simply doesn’t like you, it might be time for a new life as a single man.

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Jack Davis

I am the editor of Uncivilized Man. I am 37 years old with 3 great kids. I received my Master's degree in Psychology and have been a private practice therapist focusing on helping men to optimize their lives.

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